Alex and I signed our marriage paper on June 2008. Then we held our Chinese wedding reception on September 2009. We yet to have any family plannings then, mainly because I wanted to own a home that belongs to both of us before talking about setting up our family. Therefore we had protected sex to avoid any unplanned pregnancy. On December 2010, I felt I should I start planning. After lots of turn down while buying our house, we finally managed to buy our current house. Thank God for His arrangement. I felt this is the best unit among the rest. Unfortunately TTC (Try To Conceive) plan does not go as planned. It wasn’t as easy as I thought. Months of failure till I got really disappointed when my period came. I even cried during the beginning of few months. After quite sometime…I decided to think positive and try my best not to pressure/stress myself too much. Luckily I don’t see my relatives often…else I would feel more stressful. My MIL, although did not say it directly in front of me… I can feel that she still waiting for her ‘grandchild’. *sigh*
I then started to think….why we women has to go through all these. People will usually blame it on the woman rather than men. I also thought..why is it so unfair! Why people who really wanted a child was not given one. When we see there are so many babies dumping cases. I started to think lots of negative thoughts. How sad 😥
Sometimes I do try to console myself by saying, may be God has His arrangement. Its not time for us yet. I also list out the PROs of not having a baby. HAHAHA!
After much failures…I decided to go for check up with the gynea. I first went to Klinik Pakar Wanita & Rumah Bersalin Rekha to do a PAP SMEAR test and also an ultrasound scan. To check my uterus. It sounded like just a brief test. After a year…seems like no progress at all. Period still come as usual. *sigh* After that on June 2012 we went to QHC Medical Centre, USJ. This round..a sperm test for HB. While myself requires more test. Ultrasound to check if there’s any growth in my uterus. Check both my ovaries. Then a blood test to confirm if I am ovulating. Hb and I passed the tests above. However the gynea here then mentioned a final test need to be done, to check whether is there any blockage on both my fallopian tube. Which requires a minor surgery that cost RM2+K. I got shocked with the price. If you do not want to go for this test, you may straight go to IUI (intrauterine insemination) continuously for 3 months (session). Each session cost RM700. However the overall success rate is not more than 30%. *so low* 😦 We decided to leave it as it is. To see if miracle comes.
Another half year has passed. I decided to return to Klinik Pakar Wanita & Rumah Bersalin Rekha, Seremban for the gynea’s advise. Honestly, I think I won’t be going back there. Clinic opens at 9am. Doctor will only come in at 10 or 10.30 am. Furthermore…no eye contact at all during consultation period. Consultation period usually last for 5 minutes (myself). And if you are the first few patients to go in, well…you can see her busy her daily newspaper. She then prescribe clomid if I want to get pregnant fast. I started with 2 number of pills. And was required to return to see her during my ovulation date. Well…she sort of counted and predicted my ovulation date. First round failed. Second round, she increased my dosage to 3 pills. Same process…go back to see her during my ovulation period. This round…she did a “duno what scan or test” to check if I have any matured egg. Without enlighten me what test was that…she asked me to lay down on the bed… using duno what “stick” and just ‘cucuk’ into my vagina. I was like…huh… WTF?!! Then she claimed that I do not have any matured egg. I was like…WTH is matured egg?! For what? Is there any chances that the matured egg is not matured today. Without explaining much…she asked me to come again next month after my menses. KNS! From then onwards I did not show up there. I was like she kept increasing the clomid dosage for me. Is it safe? Although the side effects are very minimal…but I do have side effect like very bad temper, easily get angry after taking the clomid. How sad…looks like clomid does not work on me too…. Months back..I decided to seek a Chinese Sinseh. Sinseh said its best for me to detox my body first then only replenish my body. Besides that he also advised me not to take cold drinks. Its bad for us. Then, he prescribed some herbs medicine that required boiling. Thanks mummy for helping me to prepare the medicine. Hmm….don’t really recall the exact time..I guess after drinking for 2 or 3 months… I suddenly discovered that I’m pregnant! What a miracle.